


Leftovers

by HellsBellsSinClub



Category: Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, tags will be added as more chapters come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsBellsSinClub/pseuds/HellsBellsSinClub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have decided to post up some of the stories that I have either written a first chapter to or have written a section of and don't know what to do with it at this point in time. I may go back and write out a whole story for these little bits and pieces or I may leave them.</p><p>1.Jedi Apprentice Alternate start. A different way as to how Obi-Wan could have become Qui-Gon's apprentice. Plays on the old angst fics as to why Qui-Gon didn't want Obi-Wan at first.</p><p>2. NBC Hannibal inspired intro with Detective Qui-Gon and Serial killer therapist Obi-Wan. Modern au. But with Serial Killers and Crime.</p><p>3.Qui-Gon comes home after his and Xanatos fight on Telos. Set in a universe where the Jedi Order seems to actually care for their Jedi's mental health and orders each team to go to mind healer after each mission.</p><p>4.Written as a prompt from Tumblr. Three weeks after killing Krell for what he did, Dogma gets busted out of his cell and gets a new chance at life.</p><p>5.Anakin touched the thing. Body swap au with Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka and Rex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. JA Alt start

**Author's Note:**

> So I may have not read the JA books (yet. I will get around to getting them someday) but I know and have read a little of them, including how Obi-Wan ends up being Qui-Gon’s Padawan.
> 
> Now one of the things that really gets me, especially in fanfics is that they say that the reason why Qui-Gon didn’t take Obi-Wan right away as his Padawan was because he (Qui-Gon) was afraid that Obi-Wan would be like Xanatos because Obi-Wan was very aggressive and angry. There have also been fics that just outright say that Qui-Gon had been afraid to take another Padawan because he saw himself as a failure of a teacher.
> 
> All of which are good reasons. But what if the reason why Qui-Gon didn’t want to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan was because he wasn’t physically able to?
> 
> How does a breaking of a Master/Padawan effect the persons in it? What happens if the break is traumatic? How does a mind heal after having itself torn apart? I wanted to explore this a little so I did. 
> 
> Here is an small section of a fic that I may or may not get around to writing one day. Please enjoy.

Their rented room was a cramped mess that could barely hold the two of them and the small range of furniture that was scattered within. A bunk bed that would not be able to hold Qui-Gon was placed on the far wall of the room with the ‘Fresher next to it. The ‘Fresher boasted a small rusted sink, a barely working toilet and a shower that only had luke warm, oddly brown water. They sat across from each other at a wobbly table that shook under the takeaway packages they had placed upon it. Qui-Gon also noted almost absently that the plastic chair he was on was groaning quietly at his weight and he hoped very quietly that it would not break with him on it.

This was not a place he had wanted to ever place a young child in. Even if he may be a teenager officially now, Obi-Wan was still very much a child and under his care. Qui-Gon worried if the state of this room would be the tipping point for the young boy after the horrid week he had been forced through.

The poor boy has been rejected by ever Master he approached in terms of gaining an Apprenticeship (and in the long list of Masters was himself being the last Master to reject Obi-Wan. But unlike most of the other Masters who simply did not want a Padawan, Qui-Gon had his reasons and they were very good reasons. They really were and it wasn’t that he didn’t want him nor didn’t have a plan for him-), he had been forced out the Temple that he had called home his whole life, had been told that he was to become a farmer when all he had dreamed of being was a Jedi Knight and oh not to mention there had been a Hutt that had tried to kill him, pirates that attacked the ship he had been one, Xanatos being his oh-so-wonderful-self, being kidnapped by Xanatos for ‘reasons’ and then being forced to work as a slave in a mine while being cut off from the Force but some forsaken Sith object from the Force-Damn Sith War.

This child has had a very tiring week indeed.

But thankfully it was over now and they were both safe in this small room in hotel that cost way too much for what it was offering. Qui-Gon could see the exhaustion on Obi-Wan’s face and could feel through the Bond, that he was trying very hard to block, that the young man was fighting off sleep already. The boy had eaten nearly his weight in food and would no doubt have a sore belly come morning but Qui-Gon had not been able to bring himself to stop Obi-Wan from eating everything he could get his hands on. Seeing how thin the boy’s face was had made his own stomach turn and he just couldn’t let the boy not eat.

That being said, he could tell that Obi-Wan was not going to last much longer and knew that it would be now or never. He needed to tell the young boy the truth. Before they went to bed. Before the transport came for them in the morning to take Obi-Wan to the AgriCorps and to take him to the spaceport.

He owed it to the child that he was fledgling Bonded to. Obi-Wan deserved to know the full truth from his mouth, not someone else’s.

He stood and moved his creaking plastic chair around the table and placed it close to Obi-Wan’s, so that he was sitting side by side with the young boy. Obi-Wan looked up at him with tired confusion but turned in his chair so he could properly look up at Qui-Gon. “Obi-Wan?” He started, saying the boy’s name in a question to gain his full attention.

“Yes Master Jinn?” Obi-Wan’s voice was clearly tired but his eyes were now alert and watching. There was flicker of hope teasing those bright blue/green eyes and along the edge of his Force signature.

He forced down a wince as he felt Obi-Wan’s small curious emotions touch their Bond and tired very hard to not force his shields up on instinct. Obi-Wan needed to feel the truth as well as hear it from him.

So with a deep breath, he carefully opened the Bond between them. He could feel the joy the boy was projecting at the fact that he was finally acknowledging the Bond between them. And he felt his heart sink slightly because he was going to dash the boy’s hopes. Again.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Qui-Gon began, swallowing hear and looking down into Obi-Wan’s bright, hopeful eyes. “You of all people need to know the truth. The real reasons as to why I cannot take you as my Padawan.” He paused to allow his words to set in and to see if Obi-Wan would pick up the choice of his words.

Thankfully the smart boy did.

“’Cannot take you’?” Obi-Wan tested with a frown, the child gently probed at the Bond between them and while it was clumsy and soft, Qui-Gon still had to hide a wince. It was painful to keep the Bond open like this. “Why can’t you take me as your Padawan Master Jinn? We worked really well together and… and well we have this Bond between us. I know it’s there. And so do you. We can both feel it right now.” Those alert blue/green eyes pierced into his soul and made it so hard to look away.

“Yes child.” He whispered, unable to make himself look away from Obi-Wan’s gaze. “There is a Bond between us. A strong Bond that has rarely seen in most Jedi partners is growing between us.” It was true. The Bond between them was one of the strongest anyone has seen in the last hundred years and it was not even stable or settled. Yoda said that it was a good sign but…-

“If you feel and acknowledge the Bond then why can I not be your Padawan?!” Obi-Wan cried, his face twisting in dismay. Qui-Gon did not scold the young boy for being loud or for taking such a tone to a Master.

“Because at this point of time my mind will not survive fully if I am Bonded.” Qui-Gon stated bluntly with a heavy heart. He did not enjoy admitting his weakness, his deepest secret and darkest secret to anyone but he owed it to Obi-Wan Kenobi to explain why he cannot take this child as his Padawan.

A very quiet “Oh” came from Obi-Wan’s lips and the fierce eye contact they had been sharing was suddenly gone. Qui-Gon quietly mourned its loss as he took advantage of the silence to continue speaking.

“After…It…” He struggled to find a place to start and after a moment decided that it would be best to start at the beginning. “When Xanatos and I were Bonded as Master and Padawan our minds were very close. We could speak in each other’s mind with ease and could even feel each other in other star systems.” He explained, he looked down at Obi-Wan’s Bacta patched hands as he spoke, unable to lift his head and possibly meet the boy’s eyes again.

“After our fight and the betrayal that came from my former Padawan,” He continued. “Xanatos tore apart our Bond. While he had been training with me, Xanatos had also take up a side course of mind healing. And on that night he used his knowledge of Bonds to tear apart my mind while keeping his mostly safe.” That was debatable, given the behaviour he had seen the young man possess in the last week. He would have to have Yoda send mind healers along with the Knights to apprehend Xanatos. Force only knows what mind state the young man was in. “Xanatos was also very good and sneaky at what he had done and it was not until I arrived at the Temple nearly a Ten Day later that I collapsed under the grief and pain that a destroyed Bond creates.”

Obi-Wan listened to him with such focused attention that Qui-Gon did not know if he wanted to cry or not. It had been such a long time since he has had a young mind listen to his every word like a good student would (He is not your damned student Jinn, He cannot be! You are explaining that to him right now-) and the feeling it brought made his chest feel tight and warm.

“Master Jinn…. Xanatos left… Well nearly a decade ago. Why…-?” Obi-Wan let himself trail off, unable to continue his question. A faint blush dusted his cheeks as the small tendrils of embarrassment flowed into their Bond.

“Why am I not healed?” Qui-Gon lifted his head and gave Obi-Wan a rueful grin while meeting his eyes. “Because I was stubborn and scared. I ran away from everyone who wanted to help me. I ran to the far reaches of the Outer Rim and took any and all missions I could get my hands on. I couldn’t stand to be in the Temple nor could I stand the idea of letting a healer near my torn mind. I…” He let his smile fall as he sighed. “I guess I felt it was my fault that Xanatos had Fallen and that I should have been punished for being a failure. It wasn’t until I nearly got myself killed just over three years ago that my friends said that was enough was enough and all but sat on me to ensure that I got the treatment I needed. Yoda did sit on me at one point.” He gave another rueful grin. That had been a very amusing sight to wake up to.

“While I am better than I was before Obi-Wan, I am nowhere near stable enough to take you on. No matter what Yoda may think. My mind feels like it is tearing just by having the Bond open right now.” He held back a flinch as Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in shock at his words. He felt the boy try clumsily to close their Bond but Obi-Wan was not able to. It was too exposed and young to close fully at this point.

“If I did take you on Obi-Wan, my mind would not be able to sustain the Bond. I would be in constant pain and with that pain I may and more than likely end up hurting you due to my actions or words. My psych is not exactly stable at the moments and I could possibly physically hurt you if I black out again.” He whispered the last part. He could still very much remember the feeling of ‘waking up’ to his hands around Mace’s neck. He could and never would forgive himself for that black out. It did not matter that Mace had long since forgiven him.

He could never forgive himself for the fear he had seen on his friends face. Nor could he ever forget nor forgive the small feeling of triumph and primal joy he had felt while his hands were crushing that vulnerable neck.

He never wanted to put Obi-Wan in such a horrible position. He could not risk the boy like that.

Obi-Wan licked his lips and shifted in his own plastic chair, making it groan slightly at the movement. “And if I say that I would be willing to risk all that just to be your Padawan?” Obi-Wan whispered, his bright eyes searching Qui-Gon’s face. Qui-Gon made sure to meet the boy’s eyes as he spoke, his face serious.

“I would tell you that the answer would remain the same. I cannot take you as my Padawan at this point of time.” He held the serious look on his face for a few moments before letting it soften into a somewhat playful look. “However…” He let the word trail off with a small smile touching his lips.

Obi-Wan frowned but hope once again blossomed in his face and in his Force signature. “However?” Obi-Wan prompted.

“I will be well before your teen years are out. And I have many friends and many favours I can and have called upon.” He allowed a full, rare smile appear upon his no doubt still tired face. “I spoke to Yoda and Mace before boarding the ship. They will allow me to take you as my Padawan if I am mentally well enough to sustain the Bond with you. And I may take you at any time before you are twenty-one years of age.”

Obi-Wan blinked for a few seconds as he processed the words and information. “So… I can be your Padawan… But just not right now?” The boy tried to clarify.

Qui-Gon nodded and his tired smile turned soft. “If that is what you want then yes. I would love for you to be my Padawan Learner Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are a strong young boy who has a very bright future to come.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. “While I may not be able to have you as my official Padawan for some time and our Bond will have to be more or less blocked and monitored for the time being; I can promise you that one day you will be my side as my Padawan.”

Obi-Wan’s face broke out into a large grin at his words and excitement quickly filled the room around them; making the drab and bare place they were to stay in for the night suddenly become bright and warm. In that moment he could see the future before them; he could see an older Obi-Wan with a Padawan braid flowing down his chest with his lightsaber in hand and a smile on his face by Qui-Gon’s side. It was a glorious sight indeed.

But just as suddenly as the excitement came, it slowly dissipated. “One day be at your side? Will I not be going with you?” Obi-Wan asked and frown appearing on his face. His young voice that had still not broken sounded lost and confused.

“As you will not be my Padawan officially Obi-Wan, I will not be allowed to have you near or around me. People outside the Order or even those who are not aware of the situation between us may get the wrong idea of a very much older man being around a young child who is barely in his teens. They would be more forgiving if you were my Padawan but since it is not official…” He trailed off with a sigh, very much disliking the wider Republic’s views on who can and who cannot be around the younger generation. Even now, Master-Padawan teams are taken into custody because someone decided that they were too close and that… he should not be thinking about this right now. He needed to explain to Obi-Wan why he could not be near him and the rest of his plans.

“And as much as I would like to teach you without us being Bonded as we are now or without us being official… I am simply not allowed nor physically able to.” He finished, shoulders sagging slightly as he admitted the truth. He would love to teach Obi-Wan, even just for a few hours a week. But he simply could not. He was honestly surprised that he was able to even do this mission without collapsing under the mental stain.

Everyone in the Order may have believed that he had been on continuous missions these last few years but really, Qui-Gon has been getting therapy and serious help for the shattered Bond in his mind. And he still very much needed that help.

It was going to take him weeks, if not months to recover from this week’s excitement.

Obi-Wan’s frown deepened as he thought and sadness filled his voice as he spoke. “How am I supposed to be your Padawan if I don’t have the training Master Jinn? If you take me on in my late teens I will be very much behind everyone else and I won’t be able to catch up. And not to mention all of my skills will get rusty too.” Obi-Wan pointed out. Qui-Gon hid a frown as an image of a boy with white blond hair appeared in Obi-Wan’s mind. Qui-Gon quickly recognised him as that boy that Obi-Wan had fought against in the arena. The words ‘Ofy-Wan is a failure’ were circling around in Obi-Wan’s unshielded mind and were bleeding into their Bond.

By now the excitement that had filled the room was now nowhere to be seen and the room was suddenly once again drab and bare. Qui-Gon found himself missing the warmth very much and had to force himself not to wince openly as he felt the loss of it keenly.

“Well, thankfully for you my young friend, I have a plan already set for that.” Qui-Gon gave a smile and hoped that it would ease Obi-Wan a little. “I have one other Padawan, who had thankfully not Fallen.” He joked… or at least tried to. Obi-Wan’s face remained confused and slightly depressed. Yeah, joking was not his strongest suit and that was low and bad, even by his standards. “Feemor is a AgriCorps Knight. He works both as an explorer who gathers information on planets and plants as well as a guard for the AgriCorps planets. AgriCorps planets are notoriously hit by pirates and often the AgriCorps Knights will have to fend them off.” He explained. “Feemor has agreed to take you on as his apprentice.”

Obi-Wan gave him a startled look. “Apprentice?! But…?” Qui-Gon quickly cut Obi-Wan off and continued to speak.

“But you will not be his Padawan.” Qui-Gon reassured, holding a hand up to stop the protests. “Feemor will teach you all you need to know so that when I do take you as my Padawan Obi-Wan, you will be just as ready as your peers.” He attempted to sooth the boy’s worries a little more by giving him a small grin. “The plan is technically against all of the rules and the Code itself but given the Bond between us the Council has agreed to the plan.”

Obi-Wan continued to frown as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “If this was your plan all along then why did you reject me right away? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it? Why the hells did every Master make me feel like I was going to be sent away to be a failure to the Order because I apparently cannot control my so call anger issues?!” Obi-Wan demanded. A bright fire licked at the edges of their Bond, making Qui-Gon flinch away from their burning flame.

“I first rejected you because I did not realise that we were Bonded. When I had gone to the healers later that day, not even an hour after we had meet Obi-Wan, we found out that there was a Bond between us. I waited a full day to see if any other Masters approached you and when none came I decided to work with my healers and Master Yoda and Windu so that I could eventually become your Master if you so choose it to be. I had no idea that you were not told anything beforehand. Yoda swore to me that he would make sure that you understood that you were not going to be abandoned.” Qui-Gon frowned down at Obi-Wan. “It was not my intention to make you feel like that Obi-Wan. Please forgive me.”

Some of Obi-Wan’s anger was extinguished but a small ember still burned. “Then why didn’t you say anything on the ship? We were there in that room for hours Master Jinn. You could have said something. Anything!” The boy’s eyes were filled with desperation and confusion.

“I didn’t speak much on the ship because I thought you already knew a little and that you were thinking about your choices. I did not want to crowd you or make it seem like I was forcing you to choose to be my Padawan Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon explained quietly. “I wanted you to be the one to speak up first. To ask any questions that you may have wanted to have answered. If the ship had not have been attacked, we would have meet up with Feemor at the AgriCorps station as I had planned and we would have been having this talk with him present.”

The words seemed to cause Obi-Wan to deflate, rather than calm down. Exhaustion seeped into the Bond and Qui-Gon wondered if he had pushed Obi-Wan too far by doing this talk now rather than in the morning. “And when we arrive at the AgriCorps station tomorrow afternoon we will continue this talk with Feemor.” Qui-Gon decided that it was time to stop talking and go to sleep. The poor young boy looked grey in the low light of the room. “Let’s rest for tonight Padawan.”

It felt so good to say that word again and not have it bring back too many memories of Xanatos.

Obi-Wan looked up at him in hope at as he spoke the last word and without a word the young boy flung himself into Qui-Gon. He gave a startled laugh that turned into a shout of surprise as the chair collapsed under him. They fell to the floor with a ‘oomph’ and a groan of pain but Qui-Gon could not help but continue to laugh with Obi-Wan still in his arms.

They had a long way to go, Obi-Wan and him. And the road ahead was not going to be an easy one. But he knew, he knew, that with enough time and care he will heal and will be stable enough to be the Master he knew he could be for this young boy… no young man.

He will get better for this young man who laughed joyfully in his arms. One day he will proudly stand in front of the Council with Obi-Wan Kenobi standing by his side and he will tell them all that he will take this young man as his Padawan Learner.

And he will never let anyone or anything stop him from Knighting Obi-Wan himself.


	2. NBC Hannibal inspired QuiObi intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both @poplitealqueen and @ironmyownpants are to blame for this one. There was a thread about serial killer Quiobi and I was like yes! My time to shine! And out came this little bugger. 3k+ of NBC Hannibal inspired QuiObi with broken detective Qui-Gon and Serial killer therapist Obi-Wan. This or something very similar to this, would be fun to get my teeth into. If I had the time that is. So many things to write. So little time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are love. Comments make the author happy. Both are wanted.

Qui-Gon Jinn sat quietly, arms on his knees with his head in his hands, in the small but brightly coloured waiting room of the highly priced therapist’s office he had been referred to by the Order’s doctors. He had experienced a rather… Violent breakdown while attempting to file paper work and his superior officer and good friend Mace Windu had decided that enough was enough. Mace had been pushing and pushing for Qui-Gon to go see someone after the disturbing murder of his partner and lover Tahl while on their last case together. She had been killed and Qui-Gon, while he had not seen it happen, had heard it all from the next room while tied to a chair unable to escape.

He had held off going to any type of mind healers or the such for over two months now. He had cited again that he understood and knew that it had not been his fault and that he knew and understood that it was alright to grieve the loss of someone dear and that he could take as much time off as he wanted. But honestly, Qui-Gon could not stand the idea of being idle and not doing anything with his time. He could not stand the idea of letting himself stop and think about what had happened that night and how he had not been able to save the woman he was going to ask to marry him.

He didn’t want to deal with the deafening silence in his now empty house.

He didn’t want to stop moving.

He didn’t want to rest.

He just wanted to forget it all and pretend it never happened. He wanted to believe that Tahl had gone back to her home country and was still there and that she was going to come home one day, just not right now.

He just didn’t want to think or talk about it.

He knew he should. He really does know that he should have seen someone right after it had happened. But he could not force himself to open his mouth and get the words out. So he threw himself into whatever work he could get his hands on. Anything that Mace and Yoda would let him do, Qui-Gon did it. Until a week ago, when he had been doing some filing, he had come face to face with a picture of Tahl’s murderer. He blacked out and apparently trashed his whole office.

Well, not apparently. He had done it. His hands had been bloodied and his face torn up. Mace had a rather large bruise on his cheek and Plo Koon who works occasionally with their office now had a broken wrist. Neither man seemed to hold it against him and Plo had even set up this appointment with this therapist for him. Both were good men and honestly, Qui-Gon did not know if he deserved this much care from anyone. He was a washed up, old Jedi officer who is way past his prime and he should have retired years ago when Tahl had told him to.

Just think, he could have been retired with Tahl in some lovely tropical place that was covered in green and warm. He could have had a green house and Tahl could have had a large study filled to brim with all the books and papers she had always dreamed of.

Instead, he had stayed as a Jedi, despite what Tahl had said. Had all but begged. And because of his stubbornness he had gotten the woman he loved killed. 

Thus he was here. In this nauseatingly bright room filled with classical music he normally enjoys but currently finds annoying, waiting to see a man who will find him unfit to work thus he will be forced to leave his dream job and his friends and go back to his empty and lifeless house and live out his days alone and bored.

What a life that will be. Qui-Gon silently rolled his eyes at the thought. He would close off all of Tahl’s rooms and waste away by the fireplace, talking to thin air as he reminisce about his memories to an imaginary Tahl. That was all Qui-Gon had to look forward to.

And it was no more than he deserved. 

He moved his head out of the cradle of his hand and looked up at the bright white ceiling above him and wondered briefly what would happen if he just walked out of here and kept walking. He could take out all of the money he had and all of the money Tahl had left him and he could go where ever he wanted. Change his name and face. He knows how to do at the very least five accents perfectly and he can speak at least eight languages. He could go anywhere. Just disappear. No one would know him. There would be no memory of Tahl haunting everything he saw or touched.

A fresh start. Somewhere else. Where he wouldn’t see Tahl and himself together, smiling happily as they lived their lives not knowing that it would all end in pain for both of them.

Yes, that would be a good idea… Qui-Gon stood and was going to make his way to the door when a smooth cultured voice came to his ears, freezing him in his spot.

“Mr. Qui-Gon Jinn?” Qui-Gon let out a small sigh and cursed silently in his head before turning and looking down at the man who had called his name. So much for escaping.

The man at the end of the waiting room was shorter then him by several inches but held himself with such grace and surety that he may as well of been the taller man in the room. The hair on his head was a light reddish blond colour and his eyes… Qui-Gon could not tell if they were blue or green but they were very sharp. There were some small freckles on his cheeks and his lips were drawn into a polite smile.

All in all, he had a very nice face, and a very, very nice body under the dark grey and blue suit he wore. If he had seen it outside of this room it would have had Qui-Gon and Tahl flirting like mad to get him into their bedroom , even just for the night.

Sighing softly, Qui-Gon nodded and stood straighter. He may as well get this over with. If he was told that he could no longer work again in the field, he would disappear. If for some unknown but very nice reason he was allowed to stay with the Jedi, then Qui-Gon would rethink his plans of disappearing. 

“Ah, good you are here. I am Doctor Obi-Wan Kenobi. Why don’t we head to my office and talk there?” Kenobi spoke with a smile still on his face. Qui-Gon only gave him a slight nod but did indeed follow the smaller man down a short corridor to a rather comfortable looking room. It was not overly big but it did not feel like a shoe box either. Plush looking chairs sat across from a desk and well placed décor adorned the walls. There were also several bookcases filled to the brim with well used books on psychology . It was very comfortable and calming. It was not at all like the Order’s psychologists cold and clinical room. This area was warm and open, making Qui-Gon relax ever so slightly as he took a seat on one of the chairs.

Kenobi grabbed a note book and pen and sat in the chair across from him. The smaller man was right next to his desk but completely focused on Qui-Gon, once again, that was very different from how it was back at the Order.

“I am sure that you feel a little unhappy and unnerved about coming to see me Mr. Jinn. But I want you to know that I am only here to help you. And will only help you if you wish for my help. If at the end of our session today, you feel that we are not compatible together then I am more than happy to refer you to someone who could be more suited in assisting you. There will be no point continuing if you are not comfortable after all.” Kenobi flashed him a bright smile as he spoke. The tone he used was warm and welcoming, just like this room.

“Now, before we doing anything, we have to go through some of the legal mumbo jumbo.” Kenobi gave a wave of his hand. “Basically, everything you say here will be confidential and I will not disclose anything unless I have your full written consent or and this is a very big or, you are in danger of harming yourself or others. If I do refer you to another doctor I will be sending the notes I was given from the Jedi Order doctor… A Doctor Che if I remember correctly, and I will also send my thoughts and observations. Nothing in this room is recorded verbally but there are several monitors in the room. This is for both yours and mine safety unfortunately. We had an… incident where a patient of our attacked our doctor. But the film used from those cameras will not be used unless it is absolutely necessary. We take our patients privacy very seriously. “Kenobi leaned forward slight and crossed his legs. “Is there anything you want to know Mr. Jinn?”

Qui-Gon blinked and tried to process all of the information bombarded at him. Doctor Che had gone through a similar speech but she … well she didn’t make it sound so welcoming and kind. Kenobi’s voice was very warm and sweet; it was like a preschool teachers voice really. There was something nagging the back of his head about the apparent attack on the doctor but he could not for the life of him think of why it bothered him. Instead of trying to figure it out, Qui-Gon just gave a small shake of his head to the doctor and looked around the room for a moment or two waiting for Kenobi to start talking again.

And lo and behold the good doctor did. “Since you don’t have any questions why don’t we get into it then?” Kenobi clicked his pen and looked directly at Qui-Gon’s face. “Why do you think you are here Mr. Jinn?” He asked, almost catching Qui-Gon off guard. He had not been expecting to be asked why does he think he was here. Huh, that was an interesting way to start off.

“I had a break down at work.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I harmed two co-workers while it happened. I don’t remember it. I blacked out.” He kept his sentences short and to the point. He didn’t want to analyse anything. While Kenobi sounded nice and all, Qui-Gon still just wanted to get away from all of this.

“Do you know what triggered the black out?” Kenobi asked, not looking at all surprised at what he had said. He wondered briefly if it had been Plo or Che who had told Kenobi about his black out.

“I saw a picture of my partner and lover’s murderer. Don’t really remember anything other then blinking for half a second and then the next I have three of the Wolfe Pack on my back and several guns pointed at my head.” It took Qui-Gon a moment to realise how dead and clinical his voice sounded. When had he become so cold? “They loaded my up in an ambulance and sent me to be watch over for several days. Went to doctor Che and now I am here with you.” He added, tone still clinical. It was almost as if he was talking about a case rather than himself. It was highly unnerving to hear himself talk like that. He was normally more lively then this.

Kenobi just nodded and made a small sound of acknowledgement. “Who are the ‘Wolfe Pack’ if you don’t mind me asking?” Was all he said, prompting Qui-Gon to keep talking.

“They are a task group that works under Plo Koon. He was one of the co-workers I hurt. I broke his wrist.” Was Qui-Gon’s only reply. The Wolfe Pack was actually a special task force that more often than not the first responders to many of the cases that the Order worked on. Qui-Gon knew and taught a lot of the Pack what they knew and had always enjoyed hanging out with them and Plo whenever they worked together. He hated that they saw him like that though. Even if they did not care and only wanted him well, Qui-Gon hated the fact that they all saw him out of control. He also hated the fact that they had been the ones who had found Tahl and himself. He did not overly remember them finding him, but he knew he had been in hysterics at that time.

“Mr Koon did have a cast when he came here to make the appointment for you.” Kenobi nodded, writing quickly in short hand that was impossible to read upside down. “I would be happy to give you a copy of my notes when I have finished them Mr. Jinn, there is no need to strain your eyes trying to read this mess.” He gestured to the note with a smile. Qui-Gon had the grace still in him to be embarrassed slightly. “Tell me Mr. Jinn, what were the feelings going through your head when you saw that photo and afterwards when you came too after your blackout.”

Qui-Gon did not feel… overly comfortable talking about how he felt during that time. Hell, if you asked anyone he has ever worked with or known they would all tell you the he was terrible when it came to feelings period. But still, Qui-Gon wanted this hour long session to end sooner rather than later so he may as well answer the smaller man. There wouldn’t be any harm right?

“I felt anger and disgust when I saw the photo.” He said after several minutes of thinking of the simplest way to put how he felt when he saw that murderer’s face. “I saw him and I remembered what happened. With the case. With all of his victims. What happened that night. I remembered all of it at once.”

“I am sorry to interrupt you Mr. Jinn, but did you have flashbacks when looking at the photo?” Kenobi interrupted almost kindly.

Qui-Gon nodded and looked away from the smaller man, turning his gaze to the book cases. “I don’t know what happened. I remembered what happened that night and I blinked for half a second and the next thing I know, everything hurts and I am being held to the ground.” He explained the best he could while shuffling in his seat, still not looking at Kenobi.

“Did the loss of control scare you when you came too Mr. Jinn?” Kenobi asked.

Qui-Gon paused mid breath and thought, what had he felt when he came too? He knew he was confused. He knew there had been pain. There had also been a sense of fight or flight pulsing though him. He honestly had not known what had happened but he knew it been bad and that he wanted to get away from it badly. He said as much to Kenobi.

“So it wasn’t a sense of fear that something was going to hurt you, it was a fear that something had happened but you didn’t know what. You were afraid and worried about why you didn’t know?” Kenobi spoke the last part like a question, prompting Qui-Gon to nod his head in agreement. He glanced over at Kenobi and saw no judgement on his face. Qui-Gon was quick to turn his head back around.

“I know there is only so much you can tell me with your cases Mr. Jinn, but this murderer and the case that you mentioned, what was it that disturbed you so much? Would you like to discuss what happened on that case with me, or is that something you wish not to talk about right now?” Kenobi’s voice was still kind and still warm but Qui-Gon was cold. No. He did not want to talk about that case. Not now. Not ever.

With a shake of his head, Qui-Gon stood and an almost violent movement. “Thank you for your time Doctor. But I am done for today.” Forever. Qui-Gon was definitely going away from here. Far, far away from here. Somewhere he will never be found or disturbed again.

“Wait Mr. Jinn please!” Kenobi took a small step towards him, causing Qui-Gon to tense. Seeing the tension, Kenobi did not move any closer. “I am sorry that I may have over stepped my bounds today. This was our first session but I should have been more mindful. Please, before you go just have a seat for two seconds.” The smaller man had such an earnest and pleading face that Qui-Gon gave a slow nod and sat down.

“Thank you Mr. Jinn.” Kenobi gave a grateful smile. “I am sorry if I stepped over my bounds. It is my job to ask questions but I should have waited a while for you to open up a little bit more before asking anything about it. It was my mistake and I am truly sorry.”

Qui-Gon squirmed slightly in his seat at such an honest declaration and he could not help but wonder if he hadn’t over-reacted. “It is… alright Doctor Kenobi. I…dislike speaking about that at the moment.” He all but ground out. Though he did try and make his words sound polite, it came out very stunted and hard.

“That is alright Mr. Jinn. I understand. Would you like to instead try this at another time? I have plenty of slots available and the Order has paid for five of your sessions with me.” Kenobi’s smile was soft and boyish as he spoke. It was like they were discussing a date rather than a psychologist appointment.

But still, Qui-Gon gave a small nod and watched silently as the man pulled out a sleek looking laptop from his desk draw and typed a few things on the keyboard before looking up at him. “I have Wednesday next week free if that is fine with you? We can also do your work capacity assessment then too if you like.” Kenobi suggested.

Qui-Gon made a sound of agreement and watched the cheerful man pull out a business card and wrote down the date for their next appointment. Getting the assessment done would be good. It would mean he would really see if he could or couldn’t work with the Order again.

“Here you are Mr. Jinn. I look forward to seeing you next week. I know Doctor Che gave you a few exercises to do when you do not feel our best and I suggest you follow them. If you do not feel they work I will be happy to help you find ones that do.” Kenobi’s smile was like a small sun, bright and almost harsh to look at but filled with warmth. “Also if you have any questions or things you want to talk about please write them down and bring them next week. I will be happy to answer them the best I can.”

The doctor led him to the door and smiled up at him.

“I look forward to getting to know you Mr. Jinn.”


	3. A Three Cat Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon comes home after his and Xanatos fight on Telos. 
> 
> (Set in a universe where the Jedi Order seems to actually care for their Jedi's mental health and orders each team to go to mind healer after each mission.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, myurbandream had this little au thingy and I more or less got inspired from it. Here is what my inspiration led me to do. Qui-Gon is sad and ends up eventually getting hugs.
> 
> Here is a link to myurbandream's original au that I was inspired by.
> 
> https://myurbandream.tumblr.com/post/152140046284/for-the-made-up-fic-title-its-a-three-cat-night
> 
> Kudos are love and comments make the author happy! Both are the best!

Qui-Gon Jinn said nothing as he stared down at his hands while the Mind Healer made them both a cup of tea. I was mandatory for all Master-Apprentice teams to see a Mind and Body Healer after a mission but this was the first time in a great many of years that he had been in this room without his Padawan Xanatos.

The young man he had thought as his son was gone. Darkened and bitter, Qui-Gon had watched as the boy he loved turn his back on the Order and the Light. And on Qui-Gon.

There was a series of untreated burns on his arms and legs that stung as he moved and Qui-Gon knew that the smelt like old sweat, burnt skin and cloth but it did not seem to matter. Nothing seemed to matter. He was a failure. A disgrace of a teacher and Master.

He had drawn his ‘Saber against his student and had fought nearly to the death with him. For what? Wounded pride and grief. Nothing more. It was his fault. All his fault. Xanatos had a bright and wonderful future ahead of him and it was Qui-Gon’s fault that it would never come to be.

“Now that just isn’t true Qui-Gon.” Healer Vantie’s gentle voice pierced through his black thoughts. The smell of the green blend of tea that he had always favoured tickled his nose. Qui-Gon took the cup and wrapped his cold, numb fingers around its warmth. He had not realised that his shields were down low enough for him to project. Then again, he found that he did not care that they were.

Let them feel his grief. Let them feel his pain. Let them all know how he is feeling so he doesn’t need to voice it out loud.

“Qui-Gon I know it is hard and I know you are in pain.” Healer Vantie continued, voice and tone never changing from its gentle caress. “But you need to cooperate with us if we are going to heal the damage left over from the snapping of your bond.”

Qui-Gon took a deep shuddering breath as she said those words. Yes. That was why he was here. Because the boy who was his son had forcibly snapped the bond that had been within both their minds for the past decade and had left Qui-Gon there to die or go insane.

Thank the Force that Yoda and Plo had got his mission update and had sent another Knight to assist them. Without that Knight, who’s name and face Qui-Gon honestly could not remember at this point in time, Qui-Gon doubted that he would have survived.

And he still wasn’t sure if he had wanted to survive or not. Everything hurt and he was now a failure. An Embarrassment. Qui-Gon did not want to deal with the pity. With the suspicion. With the doubt that his brothers and sisters in the Order will feel when they see and interact with him.

It was his fault that such a promising young man was now gone from their Order and had become Darkened. His and his alone.

“Oh Qui-Gon.” Healer Vantie sighed. He watched as the warm cup that he had yet to drink from be taken from his hands and placed on the table before a pair of blue and pink striped hands took his own. “Look at me Qui-Gon. Please.”

Qui-Gon refused. He did not want to see that pity. He could already feel it. It would break him to see it. It was his fault. All his fault.

“It is not your fault Qui-Gon. I have been through both your mission report and what Knight Qualia reported and said. Xanatos left at his own accord. Whatever grief and apparent betrayal that young man felt was not your fault Qui-Gon. Xanatos made his own choice and he will have to live it.” Healer Vantie’s gentle voice was firm as she spoke. Her rough fingers tightened around his hands just short of being painful.

“I betrayed him. I failed him. My fault. All of it.” Qui-Gon whispered, speaking for the first time since he had left Telos IV. His throat felt thick and closed from the tears he would not shed and his eyes stung with dryness for the ones that he already did.

“You did not betray him Qui-Gon. You did what was forced of you. Xanatos’ father tried to kill you and you reacted like you have been trained to all of your life. Xanatos never should have sided with his father. Xanatos knew what his father was doing and should have taken a step back when he felt himself become compromised to the point where he was unable to complete him mission.” Qui-Gon said nothing, a small tremor shook his hands as he stared down as his dirty shoes that marked the once clean and white carpet.

If that wasn’t a metaphor for his life, nothing was.

“Qui-Gon.” Healer Vantie pressed. “The only thing you can be faulted on with this mission was the lack of communication that went between you and Xanatos. And you were supposed to work on that with me when you came back from this mission. It is a shame that you did not get to but it is not your fault. Remember, your focus determines your reality. If you keep believing that it was your fault you will never heal.”

He knows that. But that is the point. Why should he heal? This should be his punishment. His punishment for being such a failure to Xanatos. Was he even a good teacher and Master to Feemor too? Or did he stuff that up as well.

Healer Vantie sighed softly and pulled back her hands from his. Qui-Gon let them go and allowed his hands to fall back down to his lap; slack and numb as before.

“Qui-Gon please lift your head and look at me. I would like to try and help you build some simple shields as well as begin to heal the wound left from the bond.” Healer Vantie stated, voice once again firm. There was a hint of stern professionalism in her tone, making Qui-Gon twitch and remember his Crèche Master’s scolding when he did not do as he was told.

Swallowing hard around a thick lump in his throat, Qui-Gon slowly lifted his head to meet the purple eyes of the Healer before him. There was no pity that he feared deeply that he would see within those eyes, only a deep sadness and kindness of an empath. Perhaps he should not have decided that allowing everyone to feel his pain was a good idea.

It seems that the only thing he is now good at is causing pain to others.

There was a small sigh from the Healer before him but Qui-Gon soon felt the calming waves of healing energy flow from Healer Vantie into his troubled and wounded mind.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and did not resist as Healer Vantie poked and prodded the wound where his bond used to be. He did nothing to help or hinder the Healer as she mended the most serious and painful areas. He did help with putting up some very basic but strong shields that would at the very least keep any initiate or empath from feeling his pain. It would take weeks if not months for his mind and shields to be as strong as they once were.

And even then, Qui-Gon knew that there was still a chance that his mind will never full heal from the snapping of his bond. There was a very serious reason as to why bonds had to be severed in the presence of a Healer. If they are broken incorrectly like his was… well; it was oblivious to see why the rule was in place.

If Qui-Gon had killed Xanatos like he almost had, then the bond would have faded with his passing into the Force. He would not be in the pain he was in right now. He would be in a different pain yes. But not this pain.

And he wasn’t sure which pain he would prefer and he hated himself for even wondering which pain would be better.

It was several more hours before Healer Vantie allowed him to leave for his rooms. She gave him strict orders not to leave the Temple or go anywhere other than his new rooms.

Qui-Gon ignored what she said and left the Temple. He needed to get away from everyone. Away from the ghost of his former Padawan and son.

He needed to be away from the looks of pity and sadness. Away from the glances and pointed fingers. Even just for a little while.

There was a bar down on the lower levels that Qui-Gon knew of and occasionally went to. They sold all types of liquor and normally had a worlds worth of information that came in handy when he was on a mission. Right now, he did not want information. He wanted to get drunk and possibly get into a fight.

Either would suit him at the moment.

He arrived at the bar as the night cycle began. There were one or two regulars already seated and drinking and judging from one of the signs on the wall, tonight was to be Sabacc tournament. Perhaps he could play a hand or two later. Maybe he will get accused of cheating and maybe if he is lucky enough, someone may just decide to fight him.

That would be a nice distraction.

He walked over to the bar and opened a tab for the night to his account before ordering a bottle of something rotten and foul that suited his mood well. It was going to take a few hours for him to get drunk and he planned on being as miserable as he could be while doing so.

As the hours and liquor trickled by, Qui-Gon slowly became more and more drunk. When the Sabacc was getting set up, Qui-Gon decided he was going to play. He didn’t bother looking at what was to be the prize into much later in the game, when the table that held the prizes began to squeak and tremble.

With a drunken frown, Qui-Gon reached out with his admittedly dull and wonky senses and realised that on the prize table was a living creature. What he could not tell, but Qui-Gon could feel that it was hurt and it was in pain; like it was missing some vital from its body.

Qui-Gon growled quietly to himself. He was not going to let that little creature be taken by one of these low lives. He knew that he could not fight all of the people, not with the state that he was in and not without his Lightsaber that was still in Yoda’s care.

No, he was going to win the game and take that creature home so it can be safe and well again. He didn’t care how he was going to do it, all he knew in his drunken state that he was just going to do it.

It took several more hours of drinking the horrid ale from a back-water planet somewhere on the Outer Rim and winning some of the higher staked hands, but Qui-Gon quickly found himself in the finals of the game. He had used several little bursts of Force to help win a few of his hands but given how drunk everyone at the table was, Qui-Gon rarely needed to do so.

One of the three men he was facing passed out drunk and another ran to the bathroom after an accidental sip from someone else’s drink, leaving Qui-Gon with only one person left to face. A humanoid with shocking blue hair and an eye missing from his three-eyed head. The other man’s mouth was a small thin line of displeasure as he faced Qui-Gon. The game was a long one, neither Qui-Gon nor the other man wanted to lose. And just when Qui-Gon believed that he would have to use the Force to win the bloody game, the other man places down what would normally be a winning hand.

Qui-Gon looks at the hand and at the other man’s smirk and cannot help the sharp and somewhat bitter bark of laughter that escaped his mouth as he laid down the only set of hands that could have beaten the other man’s.

There is a small silence around them before the crowd is roaring. There was screams and howls of laughter and calls of cheating. Several men and women were booing and moaning about the loss of money from bets and there was a symphony of smashed glasses hitting the ground and walls.

Qui-Gon just gave his former opponent a small sharp smile before walking over to the prize table. He knew better than to pull off the cloth that held covered the tiny injured animal’s cage. He carefully picked up the cage and held it under his arm before raising his voice up over the crowd.

“Martie! Close my tab!” He called to the bartender before gesturing with his free hand to the credits on the table. “Drinks on me for the rest of the night! Take what you will my friends! Drink the night away!” He called, not bothering to touch the credits.

Let the lowlifes have a night of drinking on his dime. He may need their help one day. You never know. Plus, the money wasn’t really his. It was just his winnings. There was a big difference there.

Besides, Qui-Gon had no need for money. He had what he wanted. He will take this little critter back to his rooms and fix it up. Qui-Gon could feel the injury and pain that plagued the poor little guy and he wanted nothing more than to help it. To heal it.

Walking out into the heavily polluted air of Coruscant, Qui-Gon Jinn took a low deep breath and allowed the Living Force to flow through him. The feeling of all of the sparks of life and Light that flowed from person to person was almost enough to counter the over whelming and corrupting pollution that killed his lungs with each breath. Almost but not quite.

Someday, Qui-Gon thought to himself, someday I am just going to retire to some planet on the other side of the galaxy where there is nothing but plants and animals to keep me company. Maybe he should just take a ship now? Take this little guy with him and leave?

“I hope you really are not planning to leave Qui-Gon.” Healer Vantie’s voice came from the left of him. Qui-Gon sighed and looked over at her and was honestly not surprised to see Plo and that Knight that helped him get off Telos, Qualia if he remembered correctly, beside her.

“Well, since you brought the whole gang.” Qui-Gon gave them an annoyed and hard look. “I am going to guess that I would not be able to even if I wanted.”

Healer Vantie sighed and shook her head. “Right now you are not fit enough to leave the planet Qui-Gon. When you are better, then you can talk to Yoda about leaving. Until then, let’s all go back to the Temple and get you to sober up and to bed.”

Qui-Gon tilted his head slight at her words and turned his gaze to Plo and Knight Qualia before sighing. He would not be able to overpower any of them or outrun them, not in the state he was in at that moment. Or with his new friend in his arms. And if he does go back with them to the Temple, Qui-Gon would be able to finally look at his new little friend and possibly heal whatever is paining him…

“Fine.” Qui-Gon ground out with a shake of his head. “Lead the way.” He clutched the cage tighter to his body as he followed the others back to the Temple speeder.

The rest of the night passes as a sort of blur for him. He went back to the Healers Ward and was scolded for not treating his injuries and for getting drunk. He found that his new little friend was actually a small ferret like critter from a small planet in the Outer Rim. The poor thing had his leg cut off rather cruelly at one point; but was now contently drugged on Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

Laying on his new couch in the small rooms he had been given, Qui-Gon watched as the sun rose above the buildings outside of his window and wondered what was to become of his life now. He was a failed Master and teacher and there was a void within his mind where a close bond once was. He did not know if he would ever heal from the pain that he had caused. Nor did he know if he would heal from the snapping of bond.

Only time would tell.

Several years later.

Walking down the youngling’s hall on the way to meet Yoda for his annual ‘Leave me alone old troll; I don’t want a Padawan’ talks, Qui-Gon found himself lost in thought.

It had been several years since Xanatos had left and the bond between them snapped, and while the physical wound of the snapping of the bond was healed; the psychological wounds remained.

Teaching was, and still is, one of his greatest joys and Qui-Gon really does love nothing more than to teach and help young ones grow. But there is always that fear in the back of his mind that screamed at him that it was his fault, his training, that lead Xanatos to leave the Order and to try and attack Qui-Gon.

And while he does logically know that it was Xanatos’ own choice to leave and that the Order has reached out to the former Padawan only to be rejected, Qui-Gon cannot stop the feeling that there was something that he had done wrong. That it was his fault in one way or another.

He doesn’t always feel like this. Some days he teaches classes about the Living Force and Diplomacy as well as Lightsaber techniques and he feels like he is on top of the galaxy.

Other days… Other days he needs to just lay in bed with his all six of his rescued and adopted Lothcats and his Hoth wolf pup around him. Joiie, his little ferret that is currently resting in the hood of his cloak, has rarely left his side since he won him.

Without his little friends by his side, Qui-Gon more than likely would have just left the Order and would have just disappeared from the galaxy. His little friends have kept him grounded and secure.

Not that he deserves it. He is failure of a teacher and Master and by the Force he wished Yoda would get it through his stupid, small green head that Qui-Gon is not stable enough nor in wanting of a Padawan.

Qui-Gon knows deep in his heart that he is not worthy enough anymore to teach a Padawan. He knows it and everyone else knows it and-

“Ooomph!” Qui-Gon let out a surprised gasp of air as a small red haired child barrelled into his lower half and wrapped his small arms around Qui-Gon’s much larger waist. “Hello there.” He blinked, slightly baffled as to why this youngling was hugging him. Though even he could not deny that the shining and warm Light that flowed from the boy was nothing short of beautiful and relaxing.

He could already feel the insecurities and fears that have been plaguing him slowly slip away the more he held onto the youngling.

After several long minutes of Qui-Gon slowly breathing away all of his anxieties and beliefs that he would never be worthy enough to ever have a Padawan again, the boy finally pulled away with a small shy smile.

“Sorry Master.” The boy flushed a light pink that shone brightly against his light skin. “But you felt like you needed a hug.”

Qui-Gon knelt down on one knee and gave a small, but warm smile. “I did.” He agreed. “Thank you very much youngling.” He reached out and touched the boys shoulder, silently giving permission for the boy to hug him once more.

And he did. The young red haired boy wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon’s neck and held onto him tight as Qui-Gon held him in return. They only pulled away from each other when the sharp call of ‘Initiate Kenobi!” forced the boy to pull away.

With a small shy smile the boy, Kenobi, pulled away and ran back to his group. Qui-Gon stood and raised his hand in farewell as the boy and his group left down the corridor. Before he disappeared down a turn, Kenobi looked back at him and smiled before giving Qui-Gon one last wave.

Qui-Gon watched him go, a small smile playing on his lips and his heart feeling lighter than it had been in years. A small chirp and pull on his ear let him know that Joiie had seen the whole thing.

“Not a word out of you Mister.” He growled almost playfully. “I already have Yoda to deal with today. I don’t need the two of you ganging up on me.”

Qui-Gon shook his head and took a deep breath. Change was in the air. He wondered briefly if he was ready to accept it?

Letting out his breath in a low sigh, Qui-Gon continued to walk to his meeting. It would do him no good to be late. Yoda was insufferable as it is. The little troll will never live it down if he was late.


	4. "We are designed to be disposable."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written as a prompt from Tumblr. 
> 
> Three weeks after killing Krell for what he did, Dogma gets busted out of his cell and gets a new chance at life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very little editing has been done. Of you see anything that I missed please let me know and I will fix it!

Dogma bared his teeth as another stupid person left his cell. Idiots. All of them.

It had been three weeks to the day since he killed Krell and still no one was sure on what to do with him. 

He had heard from one of his Vods that work in the Senate that the 501st and 212th were to be sent back out at the end of the week. Apparently, having someone who you were supposed to trust betray you and make you kill your brothers only grants you a three week leave.

Stupid fucking Senate. Stupid fucking Jedi.

Fuck all of them. They are the ones who should be fighting their own damned war! Not Dogma and his brothers!

For the love of everything he is a child by Republic standards. His body may be big but he knows that his and his brothers brains are not technically all together finished cooking! They have been forcing them to leave without proper training and to let themselves be killed.

He was a fool. A stupid and young fool. He wanted everything to be good and neat and simple like the rules they had been ordered to follow since they had been taken from their birth tanks and he had nearly killed his brothers for it.

At least they forgave him. And visited him.

Well, they did visit him until he was told he was no longer allowed to see anyone other than his reps. Which sucked.

The only upside to being locked away in this cell was the fact that he got three squire meals a day. You don’t get that out in the field. You get two if you are lucky. 

Dogma leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He wished that he had been more like his brothers. He wished he could have seen that there was something wrong with Krell. 

Perhaps then his brothers would be alive. Perhaps Hardcase would still be here. Perhaps they would not have killed their brothers because Krell was a fucking dick.

He let himself fall into an uneasy sleep, knowing full well that sometime soon he was to be executed and disposed of.

-

It was a suprise when he heard the explosion. Dogma honestly first thought he was in a dream until an arm pulled him up from his place on the ground and to his feet.

The man who was before him was short and wore a Mandalorian mask on his face. The mask was worn and battered and Dogma could not tell who this person was. It could not be a Vod. Too short and wrong body shape. The Commander? No, she would not be able to pull this off, not with the way she looks.

Who?

“Come with me. I can get you somewhere safe.” The man’s voice was muffled and he spoke in the abbreviated Mand’o that all Vods learnt.

Who was this man.

Swallowing hard, Dogma looked around at the exploded mess around him and knew that even if he did stay and say that he had nothing to do with this, he would still be executed.

So baring his teeth, Dogma followed.

-

It took them hours to get to a reasonable spaceport and for Dogma to get something other than his blacks to wear. The street clothes he had been given were warm and strange, compared to blacks he was used to. His so called hero lead him to a small ship with no marking and what looked to be plenty of defences.

“This is where I leave you.” The man said after he had shown Dogma all the controls and where he could find the staggering amount of foods and survival things. He stared at the other as the man took off his mask, revealing someone he did not expect.

Kenobi.

Dogma took a step back and held his arms up; ready to fight. But the Jedi just gave a small, sad smile.

“Anakin and I worked together with some of out contacts to get you all of this.” He gestured to the ship and to where the food was stocked. “We tried everything for you to be spared. Called in nearly all of out favours, used more money then what should have been necessary and went to so many meetings and they still voted to execute you.” The Jedi hung his head and looked at his mask. 

“This is our gift to you Dogma. A chance of a new life.”

Dogma slowly moved his hands down and stared at the man before him. He was alive because they felt guilty. That was the only reason why. They couldn’t save him so they are giving him this chance to live.

“What about my brothers?” He asked, voice soft and rough.

Kenobi licked his lips and rubbed his chin. “There is a group of at least ten of your brothers going to meet you at the a spaceport locked into the navigational system. We asked, discretely, who wanted to leave and who wanted to stay.. There was many troubling words passed. Most of your brothers said that even if they left it still wouldn’t matter; they said that they were made to be disposable.”

The Jedi took a low shuddering breath and Dogma was not sure if the look on the other man’s face was anger or grief.

“Which isn’t true. You are all bright stars whom we love. And we are so, so sorry that this happened Dogma. To you and your brothers. So please. Be safe. Take this ship and all that is in it and stay safe. Make a new life for yourself and your brothers.” There were tears in Kenobi’s eyes. “And know that Anakin and I love each and every one of you. And one day we will all be reunited in the Force.”

And with that the Jedi but on his mask once more and was gone, leaving Dogma alone with a ship and the determination to make something from the wreck of his life.

He would see his Vods again. Both in life and in the Force.


	5. Body Swap Au + ficlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin touched the thing.
> 
> Body swap au with Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka and Rex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the ficlet at the bottom was the what I wrote first from a body swap au prompt. The first chapter was what I wrote in response to all the comments and likes I received from it.

Obi-Wan noted absently that his Council chair was less then comfortable these days. When he had first taken the chair, it had been squishy and relaxing. Now it was quite firm and stiff.

He couldn’t help but wonder if that was because he rarely sat in it or because the lower half of his body was both covered in the armour plating and the bruises from his last mission.

A small poke in his ribs with the Force drew his attention back to the meeting they were having. H was thankful that Plo was willing to keep him focused at times like these. The older Master seemed to be amused most of the time at Obi-Wan’s wondering thoughts.

“So, you and your Padawan say that this Sith Artefact is not dangerous?” Mace was saying to the Shadow and the Shadow’s Padawan.

The Shadow Master, Frank- if Obi-Wan remembered correctly- shared a look with his Padawan before speaking, his strange tattoo twitching as he spoke. “Dangerous is a loose term. I won’t kill you if that is what you are asking.”

“Then what will it do?” Mace asked firmly. Obi-Wan could feel the other man’s tight control of his emotions. Mace was no doubt as tired as everyone else, if not more so, and he probably wanted direct answers so they could all just go to bed.

“The translation is not complete.” Master Frank stated again. “The best answer we can give you is it will take you outside of your body. Whether that means that you will be temporarily forced out of your own body or if you will be trapped in the artefact itself? We don’t know. But we highly suggest that whoever goes to get it does not touch it with their body or with the Force.”

Mace pinched his nose and nodded. “Alright. I will have a team ready by tomorrow to go and get this damned thing. Though I am half tempted to just leave it where it is.” The Head of the Order sighed and Obi-Wan could feel his weariness from where he sat. He sent a wave of calm to his friend and received a small, grateful look from Mace. “Everyone, we will meet back here after last meal tomorrow. Master Frank? You and Padawan Grill-Sigh will be expected back here at that time as well. I want you two to give any information you can to the team.”

Was it just Obi-Wan’s imagination, or did the Padawan twitch at the pronunciation of her name? Obi-Wan mentally shook his head and waited patiently for the Council to be dismissed. It didn’t matter. All he cared about right now was getting back to his rooms and passing out on his bed. He will worry about this mission and who would be sent on it tomorrow.

For now, his bed was calling him and Force damn it he wanted to answer her sweet and seductive call.

-

The next day had gone along well. Obi-Wan caught up on all of his paper work and messages and had managed to get his Padawan and Grand-Padawan over for midday meal. He even managed to get the two of them to do their halves of the paperwork as well.

By the time the Council meeting rolled by though, Obi-Wan was feeling more than a little drained and tired and wondered briefly if the constant adrenaline and Force use from the battle fields was affecting his body. He vowed to go and get himself checked out later that night. If there was something wrong with him, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but worry if there could be something wrong with the other Jedi who were out in the field too.

Frowning to himself as he took his chair, Obi-Wan mused quietly about the possibly effects the war was having on their bodies until he was drawn out of his thoughts by Mace calling the meeting to order.

“Right then. The best team to get this artefact has been decided. The Kenobi and Skywalker team will be going to get the Artefact.” Mace stated as a greeting.

Obi-Wan cursed under his breath and received a glare from Mace for his efforts. “You are one of the only teams that have been on break for longer than a week. Unfortunately, you are also one of the only teams that are not injured enough to not be sent out.”

Obi-Wan gave his own glared and sighed. “I do not believe that taking Anakin or Ahsoka to a Sith Artefact is a good idea. Anakin has never reacted well around Sith Objects and Ahsoka is only fifteen years old. I am happy to go and get the Artefact but I do not want my Padawan or Grand-Padawan to come with me.” He loved them dearly but he did not want to risk either of them.

Mace looked pained and sighed. “It is out of our hands. The Chancellor got wind of this and has decided that you are all to go.” Obi-Wan cursed silently. Again?! The Chancellor was always doing this. If Obi-Wan didn’t know better, he would say that the Chancellor was the Sith Master and he was trying to kill himself and Anakin off.

Obi-Wan gave a slow sigh and pinched his nose. “I take it you already Comm’d them?” He asked, feeling weary and tired. So much for him going to the healers this evening.

“They are outside now with Master Frank and his Padawan.” Mace confirmed with a nod.

Obi-Wan looked around the room at his fellow Jedi and just gave a defeated nod. “Show them in then. No point of dragging this out.”

Oh, how he hoped that neither of them would be angry about this. He knows that they were promised more time for a break and that they both had plans but they were at war. And unfortunately, everything was out of their hands. Out of Obi-Wan’s hands.

Everything laid in the palms of the Chancellor. And the man always had a job for them to do, whether they liked it or not.

The Council Chamber doors opened and the chattering voices of his lineage came trickling through. Obi-Wan briefly closed his eyes and prayed to the Force that his dear ones did not get angry at the mission.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Ficlet)

Anakin touched the thing.

After Obi-Wan had warned him not to do so. Obi-Wan groaned and put a hand to his head. Force damnit. Why couldn’t his Former Padawan listen to him for once and not touch the damned things?

Keeping his eyes squeezed shut for the moment, Obi-Wan forced himself to sit up and steady himself. The explosion had knocked him pretty bad and he would need to get his bearings if they were to continue the mission.

He heard the groans of Ahsoka, Rex and he guessed the last one was Anakin, though it sounded quite strange. With Anakin being the closest one to where the blast was, Obi-Wan worried about how injured Anakin may be.

Opening his eyes slowly, Obi-Wan looked over to where he had heard Anakin, fully planning to asses the damage his padawan may have suffered.

He let out a startled noise when he realises that instead of looking at Anakin’s face; he was looking at his own.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Let me get this straight.” Mace Windu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Skywalker touched the Sith Object that he was told not to touch. There was an explosion. And now the four of you are all in each other’s body’s?”

Obi-Wan gave a calm nod and kept his hands behind his back. Being stuck in Anakin’s body was less then ideal. His body drummed with energy just wanting to be released. He was now very sorry for all the times he scolded Anakin for not sitting still or for not being able to concentrate. The poor man would never have been able to with all of this power within his body.

Obi-Wan vowed he would do something to help the younger man as soon as he got his own body back from Rex.

Master Windu sighed again and shook his head. “Okay, who is who?”

“I am Obi-Wan, Mace.” Obi-Wan stated, trying not to jump at the sound of his Padawans voice coming from his lips.

“I am Anakin. And this is weird.” Ahsoka’s voice came from behind him. Obi-Wan did not look back because it was weird.

“I am Ahsoka Master Windu.” Rex’s voice came from his left, sounding awkward. “And I gotta agree with Skyguy, this is really weird. Even for us.”

“And I take it you are Captain Rex then?” Mace ignored both Anakin and Ahsoka and concentrated on Rex, who looked like he wanted to burn the robes that Obi-Wan had made him wear for the Council call.

“Yes Sir.” Came Rex’s short answer. The Clone was the most uncomfortable out of all of them. Whether it be because of the fact that he was in Obi-Wan’s body or because of the whole situation, Obi-Wan couldn’t tell.

There was a short silence before Mace spoke again. “Well, according to out texts, you should all be back in your own bodies in a few hours. We have sent your medics the required medical information that they need to help you.” Mace informed them. “In the meantime, why don’t all four of you think on why it is extremely dangerous and stupid to try and pick up Sith Objects. Windu out.”


End file.
